To Parents – Bring a Child into the World to Solve a Problem Not to Create One
Often times, I’ve seen parents neglect their parental duties towards their children, especially in their early years, only to blame the society and people around them for what their children turned out to be later in life.
Parenting is very synonymous with garbage-in; garbage-out. It is what you give into your children that they would give back to you and the society. And I know someone would out rightly, say it’s not always the case. There are actually parents who ‘have done so well for their child/children,’ but whose children did not turn out to be responsible people in the society – this rarely happens. Notice the inverted commas in the statement.
As a parent, you might think you have given your best to your children, when your best is not enough. Parenting is one of the most difficult vocations in life and unfortunately many people do not know this. This is because of the complexity of humans. Human beings are very difficult to manage.
Another peculiar thing about parenting is that there is no formal institution, no academic setting where parenting can be learned. The only institution where parenting can be learned is an informal one – the family.
The family is the core of every society, every state, and every nation. It therefore implies that almost all societal problems stem from the family. The society is in great distress today because we have lost it all –morals, cultural norms and values – in the family. With so many factors threatening the unity of the family, it is becoming increasingly difficult to address societal problems. Factors such as career and work have kept many families apart; where the mother and father live in separate places due to the nature of their work and location of their workplace.
There are also parents, who though live together, stay away from home for the greater part of the day, up to 16 hours, and so have little or no time for their children. Upbringing of children is left to nannies and house helps. Most children from these families grow up to be nuisance to the society. And it does not stop there, they too enter into marriage with little or no knowledge about parenting and the cycle continues.
How can we address this issue?
In order to address this issue, we all need to admit that this is a big problem. We need to tackle the issue from the roots. Parents should see this very pertinent. There should be deliberate behavioural changes in our parents. A sick person who does not know he is sick will certainly not go for treatment. It is only when parents realize that this is a matter of urgency that they could seek help.
Our parents need to learn from the very few families that do it right. We need to pride our families , morals, cultural norms and values above career-pursuit; and the government should place policies that promote and help couples to be gainfully employed in the same cities/base. There should be laws, rules and regulations on the maximum hours spent in workplace, especially in the private sectors. This should be followed by close monitoring and visits to households and schools to interview children and ascertain their parents’ performance. There should be an active body of family welfare to take charge of these duties.
Parents hear this: every child you bring into the world should solve a problem for the world, not to create one.
In our next post, we will talk about single parenting and illegitimate children.