As you get older, your secrets are safe with your friends. They cant remember them either.
I would be unstoppable, if I could only get started……
“I am having amnesia, dementia, and deja vu, all at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before . . .”
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
You cant stay young forever. Thats just a theory, because you can be immature for your entire life.
I live in my own little world. But its okay — they know me here.
Forget health food. Im at the age where I need all the preservatives I can get. The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
The old couples memories
A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that theyre physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. Want anything while Im in the kitchen? he asks.
Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?
Dont you think you should write it down so you can remember it? she asks.
No, I can remember it.
Well, Id like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, sos not to forget it?
He says, I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.
Id also like whipped cream. Im certain youll forget that, write it down. she says.
Irritated, he says, I dont need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream – I got it, for goodness sake!
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.
Wheres my toast?
Nothing enhances the good old days more than a poor memory.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1. You believe in Santa Claus.
2. You dont believe in Santa Claus.
3. You are Santa Claus.
4. You look like Santa Claus.