By Ayoola AD
Certain rules that guided married life back in the day may really not be enough to do so these days
What if marriage as we know it is no longer suitable for this age we live in? What if, at this stage of human evolution, an upgrade is needed in our thought processes concerning marriage and the relationship norms that we live by?
Consider mobile applications and other electronic gadgets. Though inanimate, these things get an upgrade and update, every now and then. Changes and modifications are created that fix [or at least, try to fix] faulty aspects of the system, make it run more effectively and efficiently and take user experience to a different, higher level.
For us humans, it may be time for an upgrade on the way we view relationships and do marriages.
This is something Liza Shaw, American marriage and family therapist, believes in. According to her; “people lived a whole lot shorter when marriage was first invented. Lifelong marriage was created as a lifelong proposition of 10-30 years at most.”
To carry on the theories of marriage and the beliefs of matrimony from that different time in this generation may be so difficult, and that may be what explains the difficulty people face when it comes to marrying and staying married to each other for long.
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According to Shaw, certain rules that guided married life back in the day may really not be enough to do so these days. To continue running marriages on these ‘outdated’ principles may continue to cost people unhappiness, sadness and disappointment at not being able to hit the ‘ideal’ of being together forever.
Shaw says that to attain that goal in these present days, some rules may need to be swept aside and some revised. Marriage rules such as
“people who love each other shouldn’t hurt each other” are no longer ideal, she says.
“A happy marriage requires compromise,” and
“never go to bed angry” are other rules that may need to be dropped if people are to find happiness that lasts for long.