By Ayoola AD
A relationship in which partners’ views on life’s issues are so divergent might soon find itself hitting the rocks.
This is because any romance that will stand the test of time needs more peaceful moments than acrimonious ones. You literally can’t have arguments and displeasure in place of laughter and satisfaction yet expect the relationship to end up anywhere but six feet under.
But with all of that said, it is necessary to point out that a relationship does not require partners to agree on everything before happiness can dwell between them. All that is needed is an agreement on the important, core values that matter most to both of them as individuals, and those values that are naturally required of every romantic relationship that intends to thrive for long.
Enter, great sex.
Among other things, sex is by nature, incidental to romantic relationships. You cannot enter into a relationship without an expectation of sexual interaction one form or another. That is why it is very important for couples and lovers to be on the same page as regards what is expected and acceptable when it comes to sex in the relationship.
As a matter of fact, it is not wrong to inquire into someone’s libido level, and sexual preferences before you get too involved, just as you would ask about their religious, financial and family orientation.
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Steven Stewart, a certified counselor in Tennessee, USA, says: “finding a sexually compatible partner is in every way as important, if not more important, than the other aspects of relationship that we concentrate on. People will agonize over finding a partner that shares similar political, religious, and family viewpoints.
“If you absolutely want children and a potential partner absolutely does not, then that is usually a simple and guilt-free deal breaker for most people. So why… [are] so many people… reluctant to consider [sexual incompatibility]… a deal breaker as well?”
The truth is, whether or not you agree to it now or later, a disconnect in the sexual vibe of partners will always tell negatively on their relationship.
As aptly explained by Dan Savage, another American columnist and podcaster, “the relationship graveyard is full of tombstones that say ‘everything was great… except the sex”.
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To have everything else in a relationship and lack sexual satisfaction because your partner could never satisfy you no matter how hard they try, or if they would never even bother to do what it takes to gratify your sexual appetite is a disaster.
Better take your future sexual satisfaction as seriously as you take every other aspect of the future of your relationship. A refusal to do this might end in the same bad ending you think you are avoiding by paying attention to every other thing to the detriment of your sexual satisfaction.