By Akinwale Akinyoade 21 July 2020.
Every now and then, we develop crushes and while it can be a fantastic and euphoric feeling, it can become a crushing situation when the feelings are either not mutual or reciprocated.
Maybe your crush involves someone off-limits, such as a married friend or a celebrity you may never get to meet.
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If you have to handle a feeling on unfulfilled crush, here are tips that can help you deal with your emotions.
Accept your feelings
The first thing is to acknowledge that the feelings are there. Remind yourself crushes are normal even when it happens to be on someone that is out of reach or you would never pursue. Denying your feelings is setting yourself up for lingering heartache.
Give it time
Time heals and the time needed to get over a crush varies from person to person but the good thing about it is that crushes usually don’t last long, although you might feel like you’ll be miserable forever. Within weeks or months, don’t be surprised that your feelings decrease
Grieve the loss of what you hoped for
A crush that doesn’t go anywhere shares similarities with rejection and unrequited love. However temporary a crush might be, it involves real feelings and real pain. Take the time to sit with these feelings. You may need more time to come to terms with deeper emotions from longer-lived or more serious crushes.
Allow yourself to look back on moments when you felt sure they returned your affection, sparks you felt, or the dates and intimacies you hoped for. This is a grieving process, so it’s okay to feel sad and frustrated or wonder why things couldn’t work out.
Talk about it
A problem shared is a problem half solved so if you feel the need to talk about your feelings, confide in someone you trust. Sharing with a third party also means they can help you get more perspective. If you’re already in a relationship, it can help to talk to your partner about the crush. Explain that you’re working through it and don’t want to act on it. Being honest can strengthen trust and lead to a deeper bond. You can also choose to talk to your crus about it if you believe they will handle it gracefully.
Reframe your feelings
Accept the positive feelings your crush evokes in you but instead of channeling it down a romantic line, understand that you can enjoy people and their good personality without a romantic affair.
Distraction is key when trying to get over a crush so keeping busy or trying out new things is advised. Friends and family who know what you’re going through can also help take your mind off your crush by offering emotional support and suggesting new distractions.